It is the last morning of my first ever week long vacation as an adult. I’ve been on lots of vacations over the years, but this time was different. I had no responsibilities. None. Zero.
It is a curious thing to have the weight of your life lifted completely from your shoulders. With the removal of the never ending list of “things” I hold in my mind constantly, there was a true freedom.
When I woke up in the morning, my first thought was not guilt. There was not a queue of tasks stacking up in my inbox, the long list that sits in the forefront of my mind, the wishes I have for myself sitting way at the bottom of my daily action plan.
It has been with space and time away where I now realize how complicated my life has become, how intricately woven together all the little pieces are. It has taken quite some time to get this way, each layer supporting another. It will take some time to untangle much of the complexity.
I think this experience, this new understanding, is like seeing a child who has grown in your absence. When you are with them all the time, you don’t realize the change, it happens so slowly.
As I head home tonight, the challenge will be, how can I preserve some of the whimsy, the magic and the freedom of the last week? How can I elevate some of my deeply personal needs to the top of my life? For it is with great self care that a person can be better at everything else they do.